woohoo..damn sianz..these few days very busy sia..no time to come online..haiz..i'm having lots of thoughts but dunno what to say..anyway, juz hope that everyone will be happy and strong lorx..
`Monkey see monkey do..juz dun understand these people..
woohoo..cut my hair already..but this time not as straight as the previous time because i cut my hair a bit shorter liaoz..so not very straight lorx..heehee..saw the shuwei look alike there den he smiled at me..wahaha..Actually he quite good-looking but i think he got girlfriend already..wahaha..anyway, not interested..only think he quite good-looking..Furthermore, he promoted liaoz lehx..can help people to cut hair already..not bad oh..anyway, on the way home mabel suddenly tell me something..she told ps abt the sms thingy and ps was very angry..den they say they feel like slapping HIM..woah..so violent..though i was very hurt by the sms, i think HE oso dun mean to send wrongly one rite? Anyway, sms HIM as usual..I'm feeling very happy anyway..I know there are many things that are not within my control so i'll have to take things a step at a time and just hope that i can cope with them lorx..There are lots of feelings and thoughts in my heart and mind but i think i'll keep it a secret..
hmmm..too tired to come online yesterday..haha..was trying hard to concentrate on studying for the maths test today but to no avail lahx..haha..i was suffering a flu yesterday sia..First time saw Mr Teo flared up and he was really very fierce but he apologised to our class after that during tut but i think he isn't in e wrong lahx..He's a good C.T a lot much better than that stupid duck we had last yr..heehee..OMG!! I saw Jeff of dongli 88.3.. he damn shuai lorx..ahhhh..going crazy sia..heehee..very very shuai lehx..can only see him for a while cos had to go over to SCAS today..As usual, i was attached to Yi Da..He was doing his mouth exercise when i reached den after that i fed him again..Though feeding him is quite tough but i've learnt to endure and be patient..I'm glad to be so fortunate..Today is the first time i never see him cry..he's so cute actually..haha..Had a headache sia..
Today's horrible test..dun know how to do sia..haiz..fail jiu fail lahx..haha..went to eat breakfast with clarice after the maths test..den i went home while she had band camp..haha..i'm very happy and excited now..Not because HE msg me or anything..nothing to do with HIM but is that i'm going to do anti-frizz treatment liaoz..hahaz..den oso going to cut my fringe..heehee..hope it wun turn out to be horrible lorx..haha..
hmmm..today got to know many things..i've finally seen and understand that we should not be naive and believe everything that people say..For you'll neva know if it was for real or are they taking advantage of u..We gotta be street-wise..Haiz..today very boring day..wasted two hours in ccs doing nothing..sit there and complain..haha..i think me and meiyi more or less in the same state..haiz..juz hopefully everything will be fine..haiz..juz dun understand how come guys can behave this way, something is really wrong...
hmmm..today steph and meiyi got tennis..den only left me and clarice xiang yi wei ming after recess..haha..so exaggerating!!Anyway, today had to do the pouch thingy again..a bit frustrating lahx..but juz want to get over and done with it..Hmmm..there are certainly many things that are happening in school and it is really quite unbelievable..Today went for the some boring chinese short stories writing thingy..kaoz..i dun understand what crap he talking and i almost fall asleep..den in the end, i did my gp reading response..haha..evil but it's better than falling asleep rite?? haha..went to compass point cos i wanted to buy something from popular..but tell u something..the popualr there is USELESS!!! Can't even find the eraser that i'm using..the popular so big but no eraser..haiz..wasted my time but i drank my favourite ice lemon tea from KFC lehx..heehee..SO bitchy!! Anyway, i wanted to reply desmond's email but got no idea what to reply..Very afraid of saying the wrong things lahx..Haiz..Hmmm..was pondering and thought of this question.. 'Which is worse? Being a third party or being mistaken and accused of one?' I'm not in this situation right now but just thought of it..I don't want to end up in such sitution..being mistaken once is bad enough..haiz..bad memories..stupid people who ruin my reputation...haha..anyway, tired tired liaox..so sianz..tmr still got drama class..so dumb!!! Go there to rot ah..nvm..tmr go there and strike again..heehee..Gotta go do homework and start revising for saturday's maths test liaoz.. This Sat most probably going to make my hair liaoz..so happy and excited..heehee..Bitching arnd again!!!
hmmm..today was quite a happy day lahx..had lots of fun doing the hp pouch thingy..very fun..already got orders before we open the store..not bad ah..haha..Desmond send me an email..i know he really cares for me but i really can't accept him again cos i know i'll hurt him again..what for rite?? I can't forget HIM juz like desmond can't forget me..I hope that he'll be happy or just not to think abt such things now lahx..anyway, today watched soccer..HE played lehx...so happy..i think i screamed HIS name a lot of times lorx..but who cares...Anyway, i really hope i'll be able to cheer him on again like how i did today..haha..Today soccer very exciting and it's really a good way to venting frustrations..haha..haiz..dunno what to say today..sianz..
hmmm...today woke up thinking of HIM..also dunno why..Den i went to do my work cos in the afternoon my daddy wanna bring my bro, me and my cousins to go swimming..i think this is the first time i do econs homework sia..haha..did the essay question and felt so proud of it..wahaha..soon it was 4 pm..time to go swimming le?!?!?!haha..i thought of not going after i wore the striking orange bikini..haha..it took me quite a while before i gather enough courage to take off my clothes to jump into the pool..haha..i really need to tone my body sia..haha..quite tired after swimming..hmmm..i read des' blog..i dunno what to say..but he said he have decided to give up and not wait for me anymore..maybe this is the right choice..after all i dun think it's of any use if he wait for me..i know i hurt him a lot but i could not forget the other HIM..anyway, i hope desmond will find a new gf that treasures him unlike me lorx..i really can't give up on HIM..what should i do??? can someone tell me?? haiz..anyway, HE's gonna play in tmr's match and so all the best to HIM ba..I'll be there watching..haha...hopefully HE wun get injured lorx..=P
Your sign of frustration is....Yelling!!! The best way for you to let out all your frustration is to yell. A good temper tantrum, is your solution to all your problems. The bigger the tantrum, the better. You're a very expressive person!
went to sch for the damn econs test..dun even know how to do sia..haiz..does crying too much gives u a headache? Cos i'm having a terrible headache today..had to do the stuffs for the kindness movement thingy..haiz..many things happened..too much for me to say..all i can say is adulterous pair..haiz..today i saw HIM sitting in the canteen..I was sort of dreaming away together with the music from my discman but i think my sight never left HIM..However, things that happen a week ago flooded my mind, tears were formed but i tried not to let it flow..it isn't nice to be crying suddenly in the canteen ya? i really wish we could be like we used to be in the past..where things aren't so complicated..Anyway, looking at the pics of toro reminds me this guy from S205..haha..They look alike in some angles lahx..haha..but who cares..Realised this on thurs while waiting for steph to update me on the soccer match..haha..
`No matter what happens in life, we got to be strong and keep on smiling cos you will never know who is looking at U from far...
hmmm..today realised that actually the three of us cried last night..haha..so weird..but i'm really upset and i really think i should give up and wish HIM all the best though i know i can't hide my feelings for HIM..Staring at the christmas card again, the card is real impt to me cos it's the thought that counts..i say i dun care for HIM but deep in how can i not care, rite? I was scolded for not showing HIM the sms on the spot, but how do you expect me to do so? It's ok that i bear the pain i juz want HIM to be happy..Nothing else matters...I'm not perfect but that's the least i can do for HIM..HE might get HIS chance to play on monday..really hope HE get to play lorx..Den all HIS other girls friend can see hoe good HE is lorx..GOOD FOR HIM!!! Went to white sands today to get materials for our stall..heehee...sianz sianz..i really miss HIM but i'm still feeling hurt...
After last night, i got to know many things that i didn't know and also things that i do not want to find out so as not to hurt myself. However, now that i have known all these, i think i ought to do something about it ya? I really like HIM a lot, really do but i'm not obsessed with HIM lahx..In fact, all i wan is to see HIM happy no matter who HE is with..After all I believe that HE would be happy if HE chose HER..Anyway, the chances of me and HIM are very very slim, Almost IMPOSSIBLE!! SHE can make HIM feel happier as SHE is always so cheerful..Furthermore, I'm a BITCH wat, HE's juz too good for me lahx.. Rough,Loud,Maybe considered flirt by some,Have AP..really don't deserve someone so nice like HIM..Should be contented to have known HIM and to be frenz with HIM..However, I can't forget HIM, it's really hard cos in actual fact i don't really wanna give up but i know i must!!Everytime i wanna give up, i think of HIM, I see that meaningful christmas card, and looking at my inbox I'm back at square 1.. HE might hate me for telling HIM so much about how other girls cared for HIM (i juz did it again!) but in one way or another, I'm forcing some reality into myself..I wan to tell HIM that i cared as much but i typed HER name instead..I only want my frenz to be happy...Not trying to be noble or anything but juz selecting the best choice of all..I've been crying these two days because of everything..SILLY?? Yes, I am.. Frankly, there's nothing one would not do for someone they like..Unknowingly, it have been 1 yr and 2 months...Undergone many things but the worst juz happened when i thought everything was so perfect and nice..I am shattered, really am.. Have been crying silently in my room, holding on to that card and my pooh bear..Forgive me will U??I'm really sorry for liking U...I might not be the one for U but I care for U....
`If U stop liking a person, all U have yo do is to cover UR ears, but if U try to close UR eyes, LOVE turns into a drop of TEAR...
hmmm..didn't go to sch today again..been lying in bed for the whole day..sianz sianz..heard that we gonna sell socks and bubbles too..so interesting..haha..mrs logan smsed me..haha..so nice..Haiz..we didn't make it into the finals but i think we did quite well anyway, it was a good experience though i was sick..haha..it's kinda boring to stay home all day..tmr can go sch liaoz..yeah!! haha..miss the noise in class sia but hope that i wun feel so weak tmr again..heehee...nothing interesting today!!!
haiz..sick sia..whole body feeling so weak now lying on the sofa sia..haha..yesterday i slept since 8.30..very tired and sick sia..feel like dying den today whole body so weak cannot even walk properly so never go school den 9 plus my dad bring me to go see doctor..the doctor gave me 2 days MC and excuse from pe for 3 weeks..haha..but muz see how lahx..maybe tmr go back to sch if i'm feeling ok lorx..After eating the medicine i feel much better but whole body still feeling quite weak..Went to my mum shop after seeing the doctor while waiting for my grandfather cos he had an appointment at the hospital. My mum bought two winnie the pooh face towel for me..haha..slept throughout the afternoon after i reached home..couldn't really get out of bed myself have to walk real slowly..walk so slow like grandmother like that..haha..anyway, i'm tired already..time to go rest le...heehee..
Woohoo.."I believe that the saddest thing in life, is caring so much for someone and then one day you look into their eyes and listen to them talk and realise they are gone.All you see in front of you is a stranger with a known name." Sad sia..but i dun hope this will happen to me lorx..Anyway, i think i'll let the matter rest lahx..maybe HE never meant to lie..After all i think everything should be fine..still got sms each other..haha..I watched the NKF charity show..ENERGY is so shuai sia..heehee..Did U see kunda..OMG!!! KUNDA is so shuai..ahhhh...my lao gong!!haha..The show really freaked me out and made me cried a few times..The patients are so pitiful and the things the performers did really scare me and made my heart stopped beating for a second sia..So worried abt tmr..Haha..hope i remember the dance steps..OMG!!! HE cut botak..haha..wonder how he'll look like sia..heehee..Yuan Shyuan called me juz to tell me that he saw ENERGY face to face because he went to the NKF charity show..AHHHH...i oso wanna see..haiz..nvm..anyway, think i got a flu..gonna slp early and rest well ya...haha..
supposed to have tuition today but sianz lahx and i oso got no mood so cancelled it..haiz..wake up early in the morning den started thinking of what happened yesterday again.When can i forget abt what have happened yesterday..i really wanna forget it but i can't.I'm really affected by the face that HE had to lie to me..Maybe in the first place he didn't want to go out with me..Anyway, i enjoyed HIS presence at the cinema yesterday..the person u r with while watching a movie really matters a lot. The worst pain in the world is knowing that he meant everything to you but you meant nothing to him at all. haiz..I think i'm satisfied with juz being good frenz with HIM..Can't expect too much ya?
`EVERY NOW AND THEN, I WISH IT WAS THEN INSTEAD OF NOW.
hmmm..today went to sch for the kindness connection rehearsal..supposed to only pop the party poppers but we ended up having to do the dance! OMG!! So pai seh sia..standing in front of our class..haiz..went to tampines mall to meet desmond den watched hell boy with him..i dun really enjoy the show sia..i a bit bad lorx..watching movie with desmond but den keep smsing HIM..haiz..I really cannot forget the HIM..desmond bought the billabong bag for me..i feel so bad lorx..Anyway, i went to meet HIM after desmond left..den i saw tiong..haha..It's been quite a while since me and HIM watched a movie together sia..We watched into the mirror..it's scary sia den i keep trying to stay calm lahx..otherwise very pai seh lorx..but i'm sure if i'm with my class..i'll be screaming and hiding behind ppl's sleeves again..haha..We didn't have dinner together cos HE said HE wanted to go home..Hmmm..but did HE really go home? Haiz...lies..why do we all have to lie why can't we juz tell the truth to everyone..aren't we supposed to be honest? At first, i was looking forward to watching movie and eating dinner with HIM how would i know HE bluffed me in the end..How did i know? blame it on the sms den.. it was sent to me instead of whoever it was meant to be..How heartbroken or sad can that be..I controlled the tears..I wanna be strong but i know i'm not..but i did try to control those tears..i dun wanna cry in front of HIM..i know truthfully that i dun wan to let him see me cry...silence..but i was happy at first..y? cos i'm with HIM..say i'm obsessed with HIM? i wun deny..haiz..overall, it's a sad day..
hmmm..Good Friday today sia..went out with steph,rice and meiyi to peninsula in search of sneakers and the figurine but the figurine we saw dun look like what i wanna buy..haiz..so disappointing..nvm..i still have time lahx..today walked a lot sia..leg pain pain seh..We wanted to watch a movie but got no time cos the movie is at 5.30..so sad..but nvm..i'm going out tmr to watch movie..heehee..I saw the guy who asked me to buy the anderson ice cream thingy at orchard mrt station and OMG!! he recognised me den he wave to me..dotz..a bit weird lorx..anyway, in the evening i went to crown prince hotel for buffet dinner with my family..the food there was delicious sia..yummy yummy!!!! We ate a lot of food there and it was really fun cos we cracked a lot of jokes and i guess everyone enjoyed the food, however i guess the waitresses are pissed off with us for ordering so many things and so many times lorx..haha..but hey..we paid for it ok..almost $35 per person of cos got the right to eat lahx..wahaha..anyway, it was nice lahx..quite worth it after all..need to start exercising liaoz..hmmm..going to slp early seh..tmr need to go sch den after that still going out..haha...
haiz...what a hot day it is today sia..den still got pe wan me to die ah..Today stomach very pain sia so i didn't run juz walked three rounds..heehee..Today quite sianz sia den the new school badge a bit ugly lorx..den during maths lecture got two stupid girls sitting behind us talk non-stop and talk so loud lorx..stupid fool!!! haha..but no choice have to change lahx..Went for ccs after pe cos have to help put make up for the actors..Erm..we aren't that experienced after all, it's really difficult to help others put make-up sia..heehee..we tried on two people den we went off to stick posters around the school for the screening of the movie turn left turn right..wahaha..den jiu go home liaoz...tired tired...hmmm..later going to pay respects at mandai den have to pack my room cos tmr going to have many visitors coming sia..haha..but i'm going out tmr..going to peninsula..we going to buy present..hope i can find the figurine lorx...haven really decide if i should make the blueberry cheesecake for him anotx..hmmm..yesterday supposed to go out with desmond but then the scholarship talk end quite late so i didn't go and i think he's angry lorx...haiz..but what could i have done??i was very tired yesterday lorx...Is it really my fault???
Woah...finally got this done though a bit simple ah..wahaha..Watever?!?!?! Anyway, i feel so happy and fortunate these few days sia..my parents are not working till saturday..it's been a long time i see them at home for such long hours other than during chinese new year sia..haha..i juz love spending time with my parents..Cos no matter what happens, they will always be there when u need them..=P Hmmm..gonna be real busy these few days got so many activities it's going to be fun but tiring too..wahaha..
