I'm STUPID, SILLY,UNREASONABLE,IRRITATING,COMPLICATED,NAIVE,DUMB,and whatever else u can think of ok? Happy with the description? After all everyone only knows how to make use of me and looking for me whenever u need help! Do i in any place look like i open a charity organisation or do i open a bank? a bank of all sorts? For ur info, i DUN! I give in many times because i cherish the friendship i dun hope that the friendship would become so fragile but now i can say me alone trying to maintain a friendship is not possible! I feel like i'm befriending myself! Pleasing myself and giving grace to myself! I am in my own world! In a world where i dun have a real friend. All i have is my family...Even my brother who is just like my character treats me better than my friends bt the naive me is always finding fault with my bro... These few days i was sad, i need not say but he know.. He give in to me in everything, asking me if i am ok But will keep quiet when he know that another question or comment and the tears will come flowing dowm without an end. I spend all my time in the room forcing myself to sleep so that i wun think of anyone He would come in on the fan for me den cover the blanket for me He would keep on checking on me and when he saw me perspiring under the blanket He would on the air-con for me! All these are done by my brother, someone whom i treat very badly compared to others in my family! And on sunday, i didn't go for my relative's funeral because of someone The person said he wanted to go out i waited the whole afternoon Den i spend the whole afternoon waiting and crying But who really knows? My maid and my brother... How can someone not know that i'm crying on the other end of the line? I held my hp waiting like a fool but others are enjoying themselves Other friends of mine, where are they? I dunno.. I only got awaken by my hp asking me of a favour.. So for the whole week i never heard from u all but only to see rejections when asked upon something and other than that is asking me of a favour? If that is really what friends meant to u all? Den i really have nothing to say! Sorry, i'm juz tired ! Tired of everything! tired of LIFE! Tired of listening! Tired of talking Tired of being there for u when u need me Tired of letting u kick me around when i am of no use Tired Tired Tired Really very tired to continue living in this world I walk around aimlessly everywhere alone yesterday I off my hp because i am TIRED ! I was thinking if i were to leave this world at that moment would anyone know other than my family? I guess NO! No one will know! Cos i'm no body's friend! I only know i have my 304 gers but i know u all are busy! After all u gers are the only darlings that care i guess! I still wun on my hp cos after all no one will look for me except for my family! So it doesn't matter ! If u are looking for me because u need a favour from me! U can forget all abt looking for me! Juz take it that I'm dead! OK?! How i wish i could be dead! I hate this miserable world~~ Really! If u think all these is nonsense and rubbish den so be it! Pls take it that i'm dead~~ Dead without a shell so there wun be any funeral ! I wun go out and kill myself~~~ How i will die will remain a mystery~~ I might not blog anymore! It all depends! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I miss my YIDA dear a lot! haven visit the kids for quite some time le! Very long never see them! I miss them a lot sia! They are the only precious darlings that i miss and care They make me feel fortunate that i am normal! I'll remember everything we went thru! Juz being there to see them can bring a wide smile on their face! My heart ache when i see them and i'm glad whenever i see a smile on their face I'll always remember the scene when it was my last day at SCAS! And it was going to be a holiday soon Den YIDA boy seems to know what is going on But he cannot speak so he could only cry and cry when he had to board the van to go home in Den he refused to get on the van Both of us cannot bear that but we both know he had to go home I had to console him and promised that i'll go back to see him I really missed the 9sessions that we spend at SCAS Though at the beginning we tot of stop going But i'm glad we persisted and went on! I really love all the kids there! My Darling YIDA boy! Though i always get his saliva all over me when i feed him People might feel disgusted but he's still a dear to me! Someone whom i'll love forever and not forget~~ Thinking of him can make me cry~~~
