I am bored and not feeling good.. i'm in a very foul mood but i dunno why.. haha..sounds so dumb. i am angry with myself for being so naive why do i believe everything that others say. this feeling sucks! i wan to turn back time.. turn back till last year july when i was all happy and cheerful i hate my life here i wan to leave i wan to go overseas and spend the rest of my life somewhere else but of cos with my family guess i really should start carrying out on leaving for that place i need to stay there 6 yrs to get PR which is not bad i can work and do things i like. guess the only things i will miss are my true friends those who are just fair-weathered friends or whatever motives u have fuck off i dun miss such people.. sorry very vulgar...bad mood ! i am not talking abt this to others not because i dun trust anyone but because i dunno where to start and wad to say my mind and heart is in a mess.. dammit. my passport is ready for collection... i wan to go JB who want to be my bodyguard? haha~~ fuckers pls stay out of my side. i wan go genting holiday... i wan to go and enjoy myself for a few days i have been thinking alot latelt and the more i think the more i cry and the more i cry the more i feel silly urgh! i wan to be strong like how HE used to tell me.. but i cant. One reason why i cut my hair is because i want a new one i wan to be strong but sometimes i really need a shoulder to lean on i know i have my dad to talk to but i dun wan him to be worried and i dun wan to add to his burden i only want him to be happy. people will think my dad is weird cos he always say stay single good get married alot of problems.. but dun worry my parents' marriage is fine they arent going thru any troubles. people would be thinking why he dun wan his daughter to get married cos he is very protective towards me and i am happy to just have him. glad enough. i really dun mind not getting married and just say by his side forever. he's the best dad one could ever wish for. ask my cousins and you will know. even my friends think that my dad is nice. when i go out late he would still come and pick me up. anyway, i'll try to be strong because of my family as for HIM, guess i'll still hang on first maybe until HE gets together with the ger ba. i want to see HIM happy.
anyway, updates for the week tmr (27/06/07-wed) might be going phuture.not sure cos might have a change of plans. not many ppl going ah..haha thurs(28/06/07-thurs) i'm going ktv. and my dear friends pls dun be alarmed if karen starts crying. haha..cos so far i only cried in ktv when i went with jace they all. fri(29/06/07-fri) definitely going to work till late..should be glad if i can go home at 9 haha saturday(30/06/07-sat) OMG! i have to work~ haha..too bad cos it's the yr end closing and have to stand by in case any invoices come in late. and near evening got bbq! with the haising ppl..i enjoy their company after nt meeting them for so long they are always nice to me. haha.. always remember the small little things the guys would do for me and poor joon always bully by me last time always ask him to carry my bag for me haha~~even in orchard road. haha~~ best brother..haah..oh yah..to them, i am almost like a brother..haha i can finally go take a stroll at pasir ris beach. dun ask why i couldnt do it at ECP cos freaking saturday got so many ppl lahx... sunday(01/07/07) hmmm..nth up yet but think i wanna rest at home or maybe i will go swimming see how..haha~~
school is starting on 02/07/07 cant wait i want to get myself busy but i know i will start to complain after that again. as usual complaining is my forte. haha.. bleahx! i miss the SIM babes..of cos not forgetting the guys like our handsome uncle kel, our shaun kevin long ge..haha we must jiayou for this sem and make sure all things go smoothly and we'll all be happy at the end of june next yr. haha~~ let's work towards it!
suddenly i have been missing my yida darling and i want to go visit them i miss them so much cos only when i am with them the real me appears. yes i am saying that i am always putting up a false front i am so fortunate compared to them but i want to make them feel fortunate too i hate and condemn those ppl who sees them differently. they are oso human beings and furthermore they are kids. and cant u all be more compassionate against them? they are simple and innocent why cant u all show love care and concern for them?
